So many things could be (and have been) written about prayer. And just the seasons here in Wisconsin produce change, our prayer life with God will change. When we find our prayer life not how it used to be, we have the opportunity to delve into other ways to pray.
As we walk daily with God, we are all called to be in communication with Him. But what no one told me along the way is that the way I pray would change as time went on. I changed, and my relationship with God went to different places.
I have always found long, spoken prayers difficult. I am more of a listener in life, and this was no different in my relationship with God. Deep down I always knew there was nothing wrong with this, but in watching others with the spiritual gift of prayer, little seeds of uncertainty would creep in. This would lead to a little bit of self-doubt about my spiritual growth and walk with the Lord.
After shedding the shame, I found that writing my prayers in a journal helped me to focus my thoughts and give requests and worship to God.
Most of my written prayers are short sentences, sometimes even short requests that God knows, such as "Ben's cancer" or "help my headaches." When I look back at my journal, I see all of the requests that God has answered over time. And sometimes I see the aches of my soul that I continue to struggle with.
If you find yourself in difficult place in prayer, grab your journal, and don't judge yourself. Prayer is not about perfection, or fancy words, but about relationship with God. And He loves how He made you. He isn't an untalented artist that throws His attempts in the trash can. What He creates, He loves. Just as we want our children to come to us with who they are truly made to be, so does our God.
I think to share this after my time with the Lord this morning. Here is my written prayer poem:
All around my eyes see what is incomplete.
The 8 lbs I have yet to lose.
The laundry not yet folded from 5 days ago.
The 27 emails I received yesterday.
That interior thing that is chronically undone.
And I know You see me. my family. my community. our world.
Incomplete. Not yet. Not hopeless, but certainly only a glimpse of the perfection you have planned for eternity.
Give me the eyes to see the hope of completion.
My soul satisfied in You in the place of my anxiety.
Harmony singing from every nation where war seems to be winning.
Light that scatters the darkness.
Yes, let my heart believe in the "not yet." And let my eyes be opened to eternity.
I hope over time that this blog can be a place where we converse and struggle together with our walks with the Lord and in the calling of ministry.
How has your prayer with the Lord changed over time?
Have you tried journalling your prayers?
Love to you,